Top Ten Stuff
Canadian
movies not nominated for an Oscar
|
10. |
|
From here
to Tuktayuktuk |
9. |
|
Moses
Znaimer: My Life |
8. |
|
Nanook,
Nanook! |
7. |
|
22 Short
Stories about Baffin Island |
6. |
|
Snow Day:
School's Out |
5. |
|
Attack
of the Metis |
4. |
|
Three
Men and a Two-Four |
3. |
|
One Night
at Tim Horton's |
2. |
|
Not Another
Canadian Movie |
1. |
|
Mel Lastman,
My Dad Too |
Top Ten Signs Your
Weatherman Is On Drugs
10. Assures viewers heavy
downpour of spiders should end by midday
9. During weather report,
finishes three cans of Pringles
8. Begins segment with "A
big shout-out to my main dude, Sam the Snowman"
7. How else do you explain
seeing a Doppler 4000 in local pawn shop?
6. Segues to sports guy by
saying, "Now here's the narc"
5. Between "Thun-" and "-der",
a 3-minute pause while he stares into camera
4. Stands next to map of U.S.,
screams, "Fear me, I'm a giant!"
3. Says, "There are record
highs in this area"; points to head
2. When he says, "Expect 2
to 3 inches of snow," it ain't no ski report
1. So stoned he doesn't know
difference between nimbostratus clouds and stratocumulus clouds
Top Ten Things The
Founding Fathers Would Say If They Were Alive Today
10. "Remember that electoral
college thing we made up when we were drunk? They're still using it!"
9."Maybe that ruthless monarchy
thing in England wasn't such a bad idea after all..."
8. "Good to see Florida is
still using the same old voting machines"
7. "That's odd -- in my day,
we also had a senator named Strom Thurmond"
6."So that's the Washington
Monument? Yeah, in his dreams"
5."Giuliani has really wrecked
Times Square"
4."We risk our lives to form
this great nation and you wanna let George W. Bush run it?!"
3."Back in our time there
certainly wasn't anyone as man-tastic as Ricky Martin"
2."He did what in the Oval
Office?"
1."Screw this, we're going
to Canada"
Top Ten Signs Disney
Is Out of Control
10. Disney employees must
have finger amputated so Mickey doesn't feel like outcast
9. They refuse to let Huey,
Dewey and Louie see their Cuban father
8. If you listen carefully
to Donald Duck, you can make out long strings of profanity-laced ethnic slurs
7. Pokemon characters keep
turning up face down in the Hudson
6. The last time I said something
bad about Disney, my heart exploded
5. Euro-Disney troops have
overrun Poland and the low countries
4. Daytime pass for a child
under 12 is now $78,500
3. In a nightclub altercation,
Mickey's thugs shot Stuart Little
2. Tinkerbell? Implants
1. Bill Clinton has
been acting awfully animatronic lately